On Sex

At a party this last weekend I made a statement about sex that I have made many times before, but, like most quick statements at a party, there really wasn’t an opportunity to thoroughly explain my point of view. The statement I made was, “To me, sex is like skydiving. It’s a lot of fun and as long as the proper safety equipment is being used it doesn’t matter if you do it with friends, strangers, a significant other, or alone”. I would like to tweak that statement a bit to include “open communication and everyone involved is a coherent adult”.

These three issues (safety, communication, and coherence) are really at the heart of sex in today’s age. We live in a time when sex can be removed from child-rearing and viewed in many forms but problems can develop. I believe that as long as the three issues are addressed the majority of problems can be avoided. If you are always safe, openly communicate your wants and expectations, and all parties are sober adults then you avoid serious problems down the line.

Sex is a very wonderful thing but it does not need to be limited to some sort of emotional relationship. Sex can be a leisure activity among consenting adults to get out any built up stress, it can also be a way to strengthen a friendship, and it can be used to share intimacy with a partner. In the same way that when Michael Jordan plays basketball the emotional attachment to the game and the importance of the act very much depends on who is involved. There is a difference between playing a friendly game with your kids, playing the sport for money, and playing for exercise. The act is physically the same but the purpose behind it varies considerably. Sex is no different.

Two great pro-sex sites to follow are Laci Greene’s YouTube page and Dan Savage’s weekly column.


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