Fear of Success (or how I run away from girls at bars)

I’ve talked in the past about my introverted nature and how I often wait for women to make a pretty explicit move on me, but an event last night had me thinking that there is more to it than that. While at the bar with a group of friends random guy came up to me and said, “Hey, my female friend is really into you, would you like to meet her?” I said yes and asked where she was, I was hoping to get a look before talking to her so that I could prep myself. I’m not really good on the spot and the holy trinity of gin, vodka, and PBR was working its magic on my system.

He said he had to grab a drink and would be back in a second to take me over to her. After he left my sight I did what I usually do when I am approached or hit on in a bar, I ran away. I got up and moved across the bar to chat with some other friends with the intent of avoiding that guy and any situation that could develop. For some reason my knee-jerk reaction was to avoid any discomfort I may cause her even when I had pretty solid proof she was attracted to me, and my retreat likely caused her the discomfort I wanted to avoid.

As I look back at all of my past relationships and partners 86% were someone I met through a friend and only 1 was a result of a barroom style pickup (and yes, she approached me). I’m undecided on how to moves forward, I really don’t know if this is something I should accept about myself or should try to change. I feel like I’m missing a lot of opportunities to meet great people. As I think about it I realize this type of behavior is prevalent in my interactions with people on OKCupid as well, despite the friendly poly and open community there.

Oh well, just something I need to think about.

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