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It’s been a long time since I sat down and made time to write. I could come up with all sorts of excuses because I’ve been stressed, busy, distracted, whatever but the truth is that I just simply haven’t made time to write. I ignored the advice of EB White, “A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word to paper.” But for me it has not only been writing… I have been waiting for ideal conditions to live. I’ve allowed the perceived imperfection of time to lull me into a passive sleep where I “live” day to day with little change and minimal drive.

I could beat myself up over the past but that won’t move me forward. Instead, I hope to learn and move on. I want to use the months of comfortable stagnation to motivate my advancement and provide fuel for my passion. Part of that means remembering that the audience for this blog is primarily me. If others find value out of it then I am thrilled but it is primarily a place for me to empty my brain and try to sort through the struggles and adventures of existence. That means that sometimes I will vent about my personal life (for instance, my DC partner broke up with me last week and it has had a huge effect on me emotionally, more than expected) and sometimes I will talk about issues going on in the world.

I will most certainly fail and drift into a comfortable environment again but I hope that for now the spark is alive. I am beginning to be proactive again and doing the things that make my heart race and discarding the negative influences in my life. Life is busy, it always is, but I need to prioritize and that means sometimes I will say no to others so that I can say yes to myself.