American Savage

Yesterday I finished Dan Savage’s most recent book “American Savage” and as a fan of Dan’s I really enjoyed it. If you aren’t familiar with Dan Savage he is a sex and relationship advice columnist based out of Seattle. His column and podcast are absolutely fantastic and I have found them incredibly helpful in my personal life as well as inspiring me to look into sex therapy as a professional field. For all intents and purposes he is not your average advice columnist, he is much more realistic about relationships and is willing to tackle things like kinks, bdsm, LGBT issues (he is a happily married gay man with a 15-year old son), and infidelity with an open mind.

His book is really a summary and expansion on things that have been discussed in the other mediums and a regular like me did not find a lot of new material advice material, but I did learn a lot about his personal life and the moments that effected him most. His mother’s death, raising a straight son, bigot politicians, and marriage equality passing in Washington State are all addressed with his perfect blend of humor and logic. While I find his personal life fascinating (I gain a lot of inspiration from the biographies of amazing people) it is his relationship and sex advice that I really enjoy.

The majority of the book is about his life, but ome of the common themes that run through his podcast and column are being GGG and “it’s never okay to cheat, except when it is” are also addressed. The former is something that I strive to live by…. being “good in bed”, “giving pleasure without expectation of immediate reciprocation”, and “game for anything – within reason”. I think a sexual openness is absolutely necessary to maintaining a happy relationship and the science agrees (one of the best things about this book is allows Dan to give research examples to back his views).

While I think this is a great book I don’t agree with several of the chapters. When Dan dives into politics the libertarian in my shudders. I think he is partially wrong on his views of health care reform and really wrong on his gun ownership views, but that’s okay. His “It Gets Better” campaign has helped saved countless lives and he helped save this country from a political disaster by giving Santorum a “google problem”. Dan also admits throughout the book that he was wrong about certain things like bisexuality among men, which should be commended.

Overall Dan is helping move the country forward towards greater equality and freedom for more people, and that should be celebrated. Thanks to Dan the battle for equality in the minds of Americans is almost over, there are certainly still battles ahead but men like Dan Savage have brought us a long way towards a society that embraces, celebrates, and encourages love.

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