A Dab Will Do Ya!!!

Pre-Post: This is pretty much an uncensored version of the events of our bike ride. If you are uncomfortable hearing about sex, drugs, profanity, etc you should check follow our PG-version at www.10LegsWillTravel.wordpress.com . This is a warning. If you don’t want to hear about these adult actions please leave now. This was originally posted on our bike blog “Barely Functional Adults” on May 16th. We are getting into a decent routine and pattern in our nomadic life so I may start doing some more original, non-bike ride related blogging here again soon.

 

The home we were couchsurfing at in Petaluma was an absolutely gorgeous home on a farm just outside of town. Our hosts were a great couple who had some kids in college and turned the extra bedrooms into a place for couchsurfers and such to crash. They made us a great curry which we scarfed down while making small talk but we went to bed pretty early. Part of me hates that we don’t get to spend more time with our hosts, they have been such great people but we are usually really beat by time we come riding up to the door. It is especially difficult when a host family has incredibly soft beds, blankets, and pillows… these ones were unbelievable. I have wet dreams about sleeping in them. I almost quit the bike ride and begged to be adopted. If heaven exists then it is filled with beds like that and glorious curry.

 

After a restful night’s sleep we started riding north again to the town of Sebastopol where we could stop, get coffee, and chill for a bit. The city had kind of a hippy vibe but was terrible for bikes… the roads sucked, the people sucked, everything made me want to get out of the city. And to put salt into our wounds a local food/drink place called Tea Infusions advertised a ton of vegetarian/vegan options, including a chocolate peanut butter cheesecake, but they didn’t have any. Apparently their website’s purpose is to create hope and inspire dreams only to throw them to the ground, stomp and spit on them, and then hit you in the throat with a golf club. Regardless, Anna got some work done and we continued on our way to Windsor.

 

The ride during all this time is kind of boring. The vineyards and rolling hills all kind of blend together and the lack of diversity makes the miles seem to pass more slowly. It has been pretty similar for days and when we arrived in Windsor we were ready for a break. Our plan was to go further that day but I think we were all pretty mentally exhausted and happy to grab a spot at a local sketchy RV Park that allowed tent campers. The park was filled with broken down vehicles, abandoned buildings, and overgrown fields. Basically, it was the beginning of a horror movie… but that’s cool, I love horror movies and know how to survive.

 

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Wanna race?

 

We were happy to get on the road the next morning and get on with the ride. We stopped in Healdsburg for some beer from Bear Republic and then moved on past Geyserville where we found a place to camp near a freeway overpass. I saw a skunk that night and stayed up way too late reading The Hunger Games (my cousin gave me a Kindle and I figured I’d read it before I wipe the thing clean and link my account… man, Katniss is one cool chick). Basically this day did not really have anything exciting happen.

 

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None of us got great sleep that night. The sleeping conditions weren’t great, I got too little sleep thanks to my unquenchable love for dystopian romance novels, and lots of critters came around the tent waking us up. We kept on moving and finally made it to Cloverdale where we were going to solidify our plans through a couple of days of riding that didn’t have any real cities. Our plans changed that day because Hans bang-buddy from Santa Rosa (let’s call him Jesus because he has an enviable beard, silky soft flowing hair, and I don’t want to use real names of people unless I ask) wanted to meet up with us for a day or three.

 

Now, I have a shitty habit of getting kind of annoyed when plans change. It passes after about 30 minutes but I tend to just kind of sulk until it passes. It sucks. I hate it. I want to change it but I’m not there yet and this happened when I found out Jesus would be joining us. The three of us had some kind of tense silent treatment and conversations during our coffee/shopping break in Cloverdale. I wish it could all be wonderful rim-jobs and rose petals but we are humans and that means we will sometimes get on each other’s nerves and have conflict. Luckily we all fucking love each other and are rational people so we can overcome any problems.

 

So, when we left Starbucks I was still kind of in a sour mood but we agreed to go to Ruth McGowan’s brewery (WE LOVE BEER) for a quick drink. As is often the case the quick drink took longer than expected because we met a kick-ass couple named Tidus and Yuna. They bought us a round of drinks, we talked about a bunch of adventures… they even gifted us half a joint and gave Higgs-Nasty a gourmet dog treat (which I didn’t really know existed). By the way, if you ever meet adventurers on the road and enjoy their company it is always wonderful to buy a round of beers or food or supplies for them. We love it. (Shameless Plug: Want to donate to us so we can fight off bears, drink beer, pay bail, and see wonderful parts of this continent? Want some cash to go to Karma Rescue where we got Higgins? Want a postcard from a random place or a picture of our biker butts? Check out our GoFundMe!)

 

After a couple hours at the brewery we hit the road determined to put down some miles, but knowing we had a shitty hill ahead of us. It was pretty terrible but we are getting used to terrible hills, they are just part of the experience and in some ways make us really feel like we’ve earned some of the amazing sights. We camped that night on a random spot about 10 feet from a road. It was another time when none of us knew the legality of what we did but we didn’t have a lot of options, besides we figure most cops are probably fairly decent people and won’t arrest us for trying to be safe. Regardless, I slept like a rock due to lack of sleep and nobody really bothered us except a small pack of coyotes (or some other dog) that howled in the distance for a bit.

 

The ride the next day was pretty easy, only a quick 20 miles to Boonville where we were meeting Jesus at Anderson Valley Brewing Company. Oh man, they have some great beers. Their Summer Solstice tastes like alcoholic cream soda, mmmm, I can’t stop thinking about it now. We had several beers, rested a bit, and got ready to go again when two awesome things happened. First, some random guy gave us a huge nugget of weed (I actually don’t smoke much weed so I have no idea if nugget is an appropriate description but whatever) that was like 1/3 the size of my fist. Welcome to Northern California.

 

Second, Hans met this girl in the bathroom who is a photographer and she wanted to take some pictures of us, including a couple of Polaroids that we have with us now. She was absolutely wonderful and a real pleasure to meet and pose for. I am usually kind of awkward when my photo is being taken but she had a calming effect and really got some great images of us. I hope she reads this blog and contacts us so that we can see the images when she puts them online.

 

After the great time at the brewery we all decided to have Jesus join us for a couple days of camping and floating on the river. He offered to take all of our equipment, including Higgins, in his truck so we could ride more comfortably. Oh man, what a difference. I had become pretty used to the 100+ lbs of gear I have and once I was free of it I felt like I was flying down the road. We made the 10ish miles to the campground incredibly fast. It was the tits.

 

 

 

The campground was a great little county park under the redwoods along a river. It didn’t allow RV’s which we like. Places that allow tents only tend to be a lot cheaper and not have all the unnecessary amenities like electricity and water at each campsite. We played in the river (Higgs first time), grilled up some food, and got a great night’s sleep before another day on the river.

 

The next day we rode without equipment again a few miles to a river access where we floated inImageJesus’ raft, drank a bunch of beer, and let our muscles and minds relax. We had been going pretty non-stop since Santa Rosa so a little day’s rest was perfect. None of us really wanted it to end but we had a few more miles to put down before camping again, this time on the beach as we got out of the woods and wine country for a while and back to the coast.

 

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The 10 miles or so before reaching the beach on Highway 128 was the best ride so far for us. It helped to be sans equipment but the beauty of riding through the beginning of the redwoods is impossible to capture in words. If you ever get a chance to ride your bike along the slight downhill on 128 you should do it, you won’t regret it. The ride is easy, the road well paved, the trees keep the hot sun off your face, and life is just so perfect. It really has made us anxious to see some more of this beautiful world and experience it on bike where you feel the wind, smell the environment, notice temperature changes, and really feel connected to nature in a way that seems impossible behind a screen or window.

 

The beach we stayed at was at the intersection of 128 and Highway 1. It seemed little known but fairly well maintained. The dogs loved playing on the beach (Jesus brought his two boxers) and we loved having a long afternoon to hang out around the fire and let our bodies rest. It was also nice to have separate tents so that we could have a bit more privacy sexin’ each other up. Anna and I clearly don’t have a problem with Hans being around but it was nice to not worry too much about waking anyone up. I know she was happy to have a couple days getting laid by Jesus as well. We left fairly early the next morning but Hans rode in the truck with Jesus while Anna and I hit the road on bikes for the 20 mile ride up the coast to Fort Bragg where we were spending the day and then meeting our friends Wakka and Lulu for a couple days in an Airbnb home.

 

Fort Bragg was a lot of fun. The weather was beautiful when we arrived so we went to the Glass Beach that had a bunch of sanded down glass bottles as sand. Jesus had to be on his way back to Santa Rosa pretty early so we said our good-byes and headed up to meet our friends at the Airbnb place, a gorgeous home with some gardens, animals, and probably the coolest atmosphere I’ve ever seen in a home. We have found there is a correlation between people owning chickens and being awesome (not roosters though, fuck roosters). I don’t think we will ever stay in a hotel again if there is an Airbnb option… the price is usually about the same but the atmosphere and amenities are 1,000,000 times better.

 

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Wakka and Lulu arrived a couple hours after us and we had lots of warm greetings, but our night was just getting started. We had some MDA with us and all decided to party a bit for the night. We actually thought it was MDMA but after taking it and doing a little research we were likely wrong. This is why it is important to use a test kit before trying a new batch of drugs. I usually have one but didn’t carry it on the ride. MDA and MDMA taste pretty similar, though the coloring was a little off which should have been a warning. We also heard from some friends who took some of the same batch and they said it was really intense/different than prior batches of MDMA (we were told they are Moon Rocks but I don’t think they were). Because of their warning we started off slower than normal, I took 100mg instead of the 150mg that I normally start a night of home rolling with and even that was a bit too much.

 

We all had a really good time though, despite the different drug. MDA didn’t quite have the euphoric or cuddling effects as MDMA, and it didn’t make you energetic, but we did get some cool psychedelic visuals and mental hallucinations where you kind of get stuck in your head. It also chilled us all out and we spent some time massaging, cuddling, and just enjoying each other. Hans and I also were able to talk a bit about our prior disagreements, which was really nice. We all swear by using MDMA to help resolve problems in relationships, open the doors of communication, and solidify love and intimacy. Fuck the DEA and government in general for taking this wonderful tool out of doctor’s hands. It is evil that they would keep medicine from people who are hurting. Ugh. I don’t want to go down that road right now, I’m in too good of mood and talking about those evil parasites who see prohibition of medicine as good always gets me riled up.

 

So, after a night of rolling (is it called that with MDA?) we slept in and slowly recovered from the hangover, which was substantially more than MDMA. We felt groggy and kind of light-headed but mustered up the motivation to go to North Coast Brewery and the beach again. The weather was a little ugly but we still had a good time. Once we returned to the home we got some more rest, I watched some House on Netflix, ate a pizza, and zonked out early.

 

Now we are still in Fort Bragg but camping nearby. We all needed another day or two to catch up on the blog, emails, work, banging, etc. Soon we will be on the road again towards Arcata where we will have more breweries, more big trees, and a nude beach (where we will likely take our nude biker butt photos that we send exclusively to those whodonate us a few dollars). We will take tons of pics and hopefully be able to update again soon. Much love!

 

 If you would like to see all our pictures you can check out our Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/10legswilltravel.

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