My Death

It seems possible that I will die someday. I put the odds at 50/50. Because of that (and because I just finished Season 3 of “Six Feet Under”… goddamnit Lisa) I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would like to happen if I die. This probably isn’t legally binding, but I wish it was.

  1. My partner gets to make all the decisions. I’ve talked to her at length about this and she knows me best.
  2. If there is any money available (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA etc), I want that to be divided in half. The first half goes to Anna. The second half is divided again evenly among the children of the following people: Jordan Neiger, Sean Neiger, Kevin Neiger, Kayla Neiger, Colton Neiger, Kim Anderson Dean, Josh McIntyre, John Sleeman, Adam Cuppy, Blayne Bennett, and Megan Roberts. Most of them haven’t had children yet, but if they do I would want my finances to support them. I guess if they have kids after I die they are SOL… better start pumping out babies if you want a share of my wealth (again, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA etc)
  3. I don’t really care what happens to my remains. I’ll be dead and the odds are pretty good I won’t care. Even if there is a life of some sort after this it probably doesn’t involve fretting over the condition of my remains. Do what you need to do to be happy.
  4. But, if you would be happy by doing something with my body that I want done with it then these are my thoughts… First, donate whatever you can to those in need. Second, don’t cremate my body or pump it full of chemicals. Third, take it out to nature somewhere and just let nature do it’s things. I’ve always loved the desert and forests, but any place will do. Let the animals and bugs eat me, let my chemicals breakdown and return to nature. From my body will be other life, and that is kind of badass.
  5. As far as a funeral, it is for you so do what you want to heal and be happy. But, it’d be pretty cool if beer was available and someone played some Kesha (I’d recommend her acoustic album). Again, this is for you so do what you need to be happy and move on.

Death is something that most people don’t like to think about. I don’t particularly like thinking about it, but it doesn’t frighten me. Death may come for us all. With our likely limited lives we should spend our time and energy on loving each other and living in the moment. Try new things, take changes, get the heart rate up, and use what time we have wisely. Take care of your body, but just enough so that it works well. Tell people you love them in whatever way you can… words are hard for some, so maybe hug them or give them a gift or look them in the eye. If there is something you want to do (bungee jumping, get a tattoo, have a foursome, etc) but are afraid I think you should do them sooner rather than later. Hell, do it this weekend if doing so won’t leave you homeless or unable to afford another meal. If you end up on a death bed your memories will be on those experiences, how they made you grow and challenged your sense of being, and not on the day-to-day monotony. And most of all, just love.

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