Sometimes I read articles that infuriate me and get me in the mood to write. This was one of those articles. I am intentionally childless, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. When people basically call me stupid for making the decision I did it pisses me off. I am sure I think a lot of what you do is stupid, but it doesn’t harm me so I don’t get involved in your life.
You want kids? Great! I love for other people to get what they want and be fulfilled in their life. I love my 8 nieces/nephews (some genetic and some not), but I would hate their parents if they tried to convince me to follow in their footsteps. Let people live their lives. Also, why is this in The Federalist?
1. Ew, diapers? Gross. This seems like a silly reason for intentionally childless to make. Personally, I’ve never encountered someone saying this. Him bringing this up is pretty superficial. It is weird that this on the list at all, much less in the first spot.
2. I Hate Kids. His counterargument is basically “don’t worry, you’ll love your kids even if they are a shithead because at least they will be your shithead!”. That’s a stupid argument.
3. I Just Don’t See the Appeal. He didn’t even bother putting a counterargument. He clearly does not actually have any respect or interest in the reasons people remain intentionally childless. And for the record, I have smelled a lot of baby’s breath in my life and it has not changed my mind.
4. Only Egomaniacs Have Kids. Appeal to Nature. Just because we have a natural drive to do something doesn’t mean we should do something. In fact, he is basically saying he is a slave to nature and is trying to encourage everyone else to just give in too. And yes, it is selfish to have a child when there are half a million kids that need to be adopted. I have no problem with you being selfish. And saying you are too busy to be selfish makes no sense.
5. I’m Too Selfish. Similar to 4. Saying that nature will provide you with the strength and that our species evolved to have children that are, at times, both annoying and adorable is hardly a good reason to have them.Nature tells me to eat all the fucking food I can, but that doesn’t mean it is healthy for me or society.
6. The World is Overpopulated. This is the one argument that he could have actually countered with facts, but he didn’t. His counterargument is terrible. Overpopulation is not a legitimate concern It also doesn’t justify not adopting if you want a child. And yes, he sounds like a eugenics nut when he basically says “white kids good and Indian kids bad”.
7. My Parents Were Horrible and I Don’t Want to Repeat That. Some people came from abusive and terrible homes. Some people struggle with mental health issues. These are legitimate reasons for not having children. Fuck this guy for basically saying “get over it”. Also, “In fact, the opposite is true. My experience has been…” should never be in an article. Truth and your experience are not really relevant, though I guess he admits that he only cares about a white, middle class audience.
8. It’s No Big Deal if I Don’t. Umm, this is another really terrible counterargument. It really doesn’t matter if I don’t reproduce. It doesn’t. Trying to guilt people into doing something because other people a million years ago fought a saber tooth tiger is stupid. And yeah, there is a little bit of bigotry in here. Again, lots of children need to be adopted and he is saying to create more because something about his audience’s genetic line (as he says, white middle class) is superior and needs to be continued.
9. It’s Too Expensive. This is another argument I’ve never really heard from the intentionally childless. But, if they are making that argument, it is kind of lousy. It might be too expensive to have kids if you want to maintain the exact same lifestyle, but it really isn’t “too expensive” overall. You can provide your kid with a lot for very cheap.
10. We’re Not Ready. Oh man… this is infuriating. He is basically saying “hey women! You started menstruating at 14 so you should probably get prego as soon as possible! Also, ignore all anecdotal evidence even though I used anecdotal evidence a couple paragraphs ago!” Basically, if you have a uterus your sole purpose in life is to pop out children, so you should neglect your career and education to get started as soon as possible.
I don’t know the author, but he seems to be clinging to some sort of Leave It To Beaver world and wants us all to pretend it is the 1950’s again. Well, it isn’t. Technology and society have changed. The need for people to have 2.5+ kids before they turn 30 doesn’t exist anymore (if it ever did).
Wandering Oak 