Stress and Sin

I’ve been really stressed out for the last couple of days. There isn’t any solo cause of the stress, but it is there. Usually I can recognize the stress and find some ethical ways to reduce it. My “go to” techniques are meditation, music, going for a walk, exercising, masturbating, napping, or drinking a beer. Those techniques didn’t really work for me yesterday and I ended up turning to sin.

Now, I don’t really define sin in a theological way. For me, sinning is when I violate my own ethics. It is when I consume dairy, spend money on unnecessary things, or consume a bunch of food. Turning to food is super common for me to deal with heavy stress, especially fatty food. I’m not sure if there is something about violating my own ethics that feels good or if there is something in food (or the act of spending money) that releases stress, but it does.

I’m not proud of it, I want to improve my actions and not backslide into getting pleasure from other’s unnecessary harm or wasting my money on  “things”. I am happy that it has been a LONG time since I got this stressed out and sinned, and maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Any ethical practice (veganism, Christianity, etc) is the pursuit of perfection, but acknowledging that perfection is impossible. I guess all I can do is move forward today and do my best.

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