I’ve been struggling with my writing for the last few months. I’m not sure exactly what it is, I just haven’t felt like I am creating anything of value. Nothing I write really feels original or insightful. I’ve just been down lately. That changed recently.
While rolling with two of our closest friends I was curled up with one of them and she told me that she really liked my writing. To be honest, I was a bit surprised. This is someone that I respect on all levels and love very much. For her to have a positive comment about something I created really touched me deep. I occasionally get positive comments about my writing, and I love when I do, but something about this one really stood out. I truly believed her and it has inspired me to keep writing, and even take on new projects. I am sure the MDMA was a big part of why I believed her and why the positive feelings have stuck with me (it is an amazing medicine).
For as long as I can remember I’ve had a little paranoia that I was the butt of some unknown joke. There was a thought in the back of my head that my friends were really laughing about me behind my back, that partners were with me because they pitied me, or that people would discover that I am just a giant fraud in some way. It isn’t logical, but it has been there in my mind for a long time (though, it has gotten better since I started the bike ride). Maybe it is a self worth issue. It is something that I’d love to discuss with a therapist someday.
Anyway, I think it is important for us to tell creators that we value what they create. Particularly those that don’t sell what they create. I don’t think we should lie to people, but if you love something that someone does please tell them (and constructive feedback is awesome too). It really could be the difference between them continuing to create and giving up.
Wandering Oak 