Grumpy

I woke up really grumpy this morning. I’m not sure what the exact reason is… it is probably a bunch of different reasons. I think it is taking me a while to adjust to the new life. Living with other people, waking up to an alarm, not having complete control of my environment… these are things that it is taking me some time to get used to.

I’m sure things will get easier. I’m really happy and still have a ton of control in my schedule and life, it is just taking some getting used to. Transitions can be tough and I’m trying to be excited about them and see the bright side of things.

Today is just bleh so far.

Maybe a bike ride would do me some good and clear my head a little bit. I need to get outdoors and explore. I’m used to being outside for 12 hours a day, and right now being in a house most of the time is weird. I miss natural light and fresh air. Homes seem so stagnant to me, so stuffy. I’ve been going on walks several times a day and exercising outside daily, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. Oh well, I’m about to go on a bike ride and that should help get me in a better mood for the day.

Blargh. I hate feeling like this. I know it isn’t logical and I know my mood is under my control. My meditation this morning was so distracted, I felt like my mind was filled with goop. It was sluggish. I hate being annoyed by things that shouldn’t annoy me.

Oh well, I need to get myself out of this funk and enjoy the day. It is beautiful outside, I have a wonderful life with an insane amount of freedom, life could be fucking worse and I need to quit my damn whining.

I’ll just put on a smile and fake it, that usually helps.

I love you all.

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