I think raising a child may be the single most important thing that a person can do. Which is why I chose not to do it. It is something that I think should be entered into with a high level of interest, a high level of knowledge about how to raise a child in the modern world, the resources available to provide what the child needs, and the temperment to do it. I lack many (most? all?) of those things and to have a child would be an incredibly selfish act.

Then again, having a child is always a selfish act.

I don’t necessarily mean that in a judgmental way. We all behave selfishly, that is part of self-preservation and individuality and the pursuit of a meaningful life. One thing that my partner and I have discussed is fostering or adopting children. We do have an interest in raising a child and a longing to help those in our community who need it. Our genes are not that special (and neither are yours) and it seems so selfish to me to value a potential child with my genes over the half a million children in the US who already exist and don’t have stable homes.

Yes, I’m selfish. But so is every parent who looks at our world today and says, “Instead of taking care of those in need I want to bring a new life into the world.”

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