2014

It looks like the year is coming to an end for most people. While it makes more sense to me to end the year on December 21st (Winter Solstice) most people celebrate December 31st as the end of the year, unless you are Jewish, Chinese, some Burners, and probably some other cultures that I am sadly unfamiliar with. The end of the year, and winter in general, is a great opportunity to reflect on the past and prepare for the future.

2014 was a good year in my life, though it wasn’t without struggles. I got married to my best friend, started a nomadic bike ride around the United States, went to Burning Man for the fourth time, became more knowledgeable and comfortable with my sexuality and polyamory, made new friends as I let my freak flag fly, and I’ve had my passion for learning and pursuing education reignited. Unfortunately, I also had to leave Los Angeles where the greatest friend (and person) I’ve ever known lives and I didn’t take advantage of the opportunities to spend time with him as much as I would have liked. I’ve also found myself coming up short on my own morality… eating what I shouldn’t eat, wasting time that could be used more constructively, and spending time talking about creating art instead of actually doing it. Pursuing a life that I love, despite the push-back from society and the potential loss of people in my life who only see value in a world like theirs, has been incredibly difficult and rewarding. Luckily I have great people who continue to inspire and challenge me.

Who doesn’t want their wedding to look like this?

As the new year continues to dawn around the world I have some goals in mind. I hesitate to call them “resolutions” because they aren’t necessarily things to do. For me the next year doesn’t appear to be revolutionary, it is the continuation of chapters started in 2014. I will continue to learn, to explore, and try to better myself. The bike ride will continue again in May and I hope to have a basic outline of how to get into sex education or sex therapy by then. I will continue to read and write, and hopefully explore more artistic ventures.

But first and foremost, I just hope to use my time more wisely and enjoy the moment. Instead of watching The Office or Parks and Rec for the hundredth time I want to knock out some of the books on my Goodreads “To Read” list (which is at about 660 books), watch new things on Netflix (about 180 on that list), bust out the watercolors, camera, charcoal, colored pencils, and other art supplies I have, play around with the harmonica, learn a new language, meditate more, cook more, keep working on Khan Academy’s math, bree beer, take some free MIT/Coursera/etc courses, and become a multi-orgasmic man. There is so much to explore in this world and it is so easy to get caught up in the same comfortable patterns. But comfort doesn’t lead to growth, challenge does. So while my year will be similar to last I hope to grow and challenge myself more. Which is easy to say but difficult to do… I’ll try though, and hopefully I will hit 2016 proud of all I’ve accomplished and the mistakes I made.

Good Friends, Infinite Love, and a Hot Tub – 2013 Begins

Well, it is the new year. We all successfully hung on to this rock for another trip around the sun. 2012 was a year of great transition for me in my personal and professional life but the vibe that 2013 has started with is very different. I was blessed enough to spend New Years Eve with an amazing group of people who I know mostly through Burning Man.

It is difficult to really break down how I feel around my burner friends in a situation like this. I am still very much an introvert and find myself a little anxious in big groups, even if I am familiar with most of the people. The party I went to had about 25ish people and that is over my general threshold of comfort. Luckily though I still had an amazing time even if I didn’t really talk to as many people as I would in a smaller group.

My view of the future… face paint to avoid facial recognition technology, clothing that suits the needs of an outlaw, and a sexy beard to help spread the love.

The theme for the party was Prom 2099 and it was incredible to see everyone’s creativity bloom. There was great diversity in outfits, everything from dystopia to a rave future to planet of the apes to Bender from Futurama. One pattern I noticed was the general view that external gender markers (make up, clothing, etc) wouldn’t be really present in the future. Many men wore make-up, wigs, and tight clothes without fear of negative repercussions. I know my big blue eyes certainly sparkle with a little eye-liner. The event was incredible and with the chemicals running through my body the lights and sound produced by the dj bounced around my brain in sheer pleasure.

As is often the case with a free group like this there was great comfort with showing love and affection. There were many kisses at midnight and massages throughout the night. It wasn’t uncommon to find two people cuddling and talking that may be long time friends or just met that night. That is really what draws me to this community, the unashamed love and willingness to be individuals instead of bowing down to social norms. When I finally started to sleep cuddled at 6am in a warm blanket with Molly’s euphoric embrace flowing over my body the sounds of conversation between new friends echoed in the background.

I can’t imagine a better way to bring in the new year. I hope that his means good tidings for an upcoming year filled with community, love, and cuddling.