Foreskin and Circumcision

While I was in Los Angeles a few weeks ago I lost one of the balls to my apadravya piercing. The hole healed much more quickly than I expected, which means I no longer have a genital piercing but my penis looks like it has a belly button on the top of the head. I don’t want to go through the pain, expense, and recovery of getting it re-pierced right now so I am going to leave it out. It is a little disappointing but this does provide me with the opportunity to try and restore my foreskin via Tugger. A friend of mine has been using Tugger and has been really happy with the results, particularly in restoring some of the pleasure sensations. I’m not quite sure if I’m going to do it but I am considering it.

I’m not upset with my parents for getting me circumcised, though I wish they wouldn’t have done it. I understand they were doing the best they could and following medical guidance at the time, though I don’t think there is a good reason for circumcision anymore. In fact, I think that it violates the rights of the child.

Infant circumcision permanently and unnecessarily removes a part of the child’s body that is responsible for pleasure. Parents are caretakers of their children, they do not own them. They are not free to do whatever they wish with their children. Any medical procedure, particularly one that permanently removes part of their body, should only be undertaken if medically necessary.

In my experience the two main reasons people support circumcision is cultural and preventative medicine, neither of which justify the act in my mind. Just because something is a cultural norm doesn’t mean it is ethical. Circumcision your infant so that they look like their father or for religious reasons is not a good reason. If a religion demanded that a hot iron be used to brand an infant because all the men in the community had that scar or because it symbolizes a covenant with god we would rightfully see that as barbaric, just like circumcision. An infant cannot choose a religion, if an adult wants to get circumcised for religious beliefs that is their decision but it is beyond a parent’s authority to do that to a child.

There does seem to be some medicinal benefit to circumcision, particularly around STI prevention and cleanliness. Still, this doesn’t justify a permanent medical procedure in my mind. Both STI prevention and cleanliness can be accomplished through educating about condoms and hygiene. The vast majority of the world is uncircumcised, including Europe, and they seem to find a way to survive without this unnecessary procedure. It might be easier for the parents to just cut off the foreskin instead of having genital-related conversations with their children, but convenience does not justify violating the child’s right to bodily autonomy.

Sexual pleasure is an important part of the human experience for most people. That opportunity should not be minimized by parents. The choice to get circumcised belongs to the child alone to make when they are adults. I’m glad we live in a time of medical advancements and some of this damage can be repaired, but it would be much better if the damage wasn’t done in the first place.

 

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True Love is…

Dan Savage often says that “There are some things that mother’s have a right NOT to know, but mother’s also have a responsibility to not go searching for things they don’t want to know”. This is one of those posts, so if my mother is reading this it may be time to close the tab to my blog and look at something else, this post just may have too much info. I actually don’t know if my mother reads my posts but I think this disclaimer should actually be at the top of most personal things I talk about. Personal censorship is not one of my strong suits.

 

 

As my regular reader knows I got a genital piercing a little over a month ago. This particular piercing made erections extremely painful and sexual activity impossible. After the first couple nights I would wake up in extreme pain several times throughout the night. As any guy can testify it doesn’t take long without sexual release before the pressure builds up and needs release. So there reaches a point where I had to weigh the pain, pressure, and pleasure of having an orgasm.

This time was not easy for my partner either. I think she has a slightly higher sex drive than me and going this long without intercourse effected her. She was completely supportive and loving during this time period but we have a great sexual compatibility so taking that out of our lives has a realistic impact. Luckily we are also great friends, crazy in love, trust each other, and communicate fully so even the loss of sex for a while had no negative impact on our relationship.

Anyway, after about a week of no orgasm I finally was able to masturbate to completion. It was very painful still (but to be honest I kind of liked that… hmmm) but there was ┬ásense of relief and accomplishment when it happened. Of course the first thing I did after my successful act of self-coitus was text my partner, and she was genuinely thrilled for me. That is when it occurred to us, true love is celebrating each other’s orgasms.

True love is genuine happiness and joy at the accomplishments and pleasure of another (this is also called compersion in poly circles). This happens between parents and their children, brothers and sisters, best friends, and for poly people this applies to their partners having intimate relationships with others. My poly journey is still in it’s infancy and I have not had the chance to explore multiple partner based compersion but if/when that day comes I hope I can celebrate the intimacy and orgasms my partner has when I am not the direct recipient of them.

My First Piercing

I’ve found myself increasingly interested in body modification in the last few years and last month decided to get a piercing. Of course I decided to go with something less than standard and I got an Apadravya (it is a genital piercing so probably NSFW to google). I originally planned on keeping my piercing kind of a secret but after reading some blog posts I realized there might be people out there who learn from my experience. Also, I’ve found myself willing to send pictures to anyone who was curious or wanted to see it so there are just a ton of pictures out there. So yeah, here is a nice summary of the piercing and first two weeks of healing. There will be somewhat graphic medical descriptions of bodily processes so get ready for that.

Before getting the piercing I asked some trusted friends for recommendations. I ended up going with Roger at Ancient Adornments in Los Angeles. I’m incredibly happy with this decision, Roger was fantastic through the whole process and continues to be a source of information when I need it. After emailing with Roger a few times we settled on a date for me to come in, he advised a Friday to give me a whole weekend to heal and I took his advice.

So, at 8:30pm on Friday night I arrived for my piercing. My partner and two other friends were with me during the whole process and I’m glad they were there. After Roger briefed me and cleaned the area the piercing began and it was the single most painful experience in my life. In fact, I passed out cold from the pain. I’ve passed out several times in my life so I kind of felt it coming but I was happy when I awoke to see that Roger really knew what he was doing. He had me laid back with cold compresses and gave me all the time I needed to rest up. My partner was there holding my hand and the other two ladies were chatting calmly. I guess waking up with my pants around my ankles next to three hot girls isn’t so bad.

After I was all wrapped up Roger gave me care instructions and I was on my way. I was told to take pain pills as needed, wash regularly with my normal soap (Dr. Bronners), soak the piercing for 10 minutes daily in warm water, and to use emu oil on the lower ball to help the process. I’ve been pretty good with all the instructions and at the end of two weeks it is feeling pretty good.

The first weekend though was kind of rough. It was definitely uncomfortable, especially during urination. This was a very good lesson in the importance of hydration. Any day I didn’t urinate regularly resulted in discomfort and pain when I finally did. The first 2 days also had some blood during urination but that stopped pretty quickly. Erections have been pretty awful though and ejaculation was impossible until about the 5th day. It is still uncomfortable to masturbate but that discomfort can be overcome… probably because of the pleasure from masturbation.

By the beginning of week 2 I stopped feeling any pain during urination or ejaculation but there is still discomfort and pressure. Sexual activity of any kind with a partner was not possible simply because she couldn’t feel what I feel and any improper movement was painful. But of course you can still have a good time enjoying each other even if I am the only one that can touch myself.

Now we are at the end of week 2 and things are pretty good. Intercourse is still not an option but light oral and manual stimulation with a partner is possible. Urination and masturbation are now not really a problem at all with only mild discomfort during erection. Basically things are slowly getting back to normal and the healing process has been pretty smooth.

I am really happy I got this piercing. Aesthetically I think it looks awesome and I am already starting to benefit from the physical sensations. Any vibration or stimulation effects the inner nerves of the penis head and it feels absolutely fantastic. The top ball also rubs on the female’s g-spot giving my partner greater pleasure as well. I’m pretty anxious to get it all healed up and try it out completely. Until then I will just heal up enjoy the new positive feelings each day.